10/28
as much of the world as i can

a week from tomorrow i'll be taking off, leaving san francisco for a month, longer than any time since i moved here. i'm doing shows at some schools and visitng some cities that i've never been to. it hasn't occurred to me to think of it as a vacation, but maybe i should.

a vacation where you're rehearsing 4 hours a day and working nights and hoping you get paid enough, yeah

lately my favorite comic book has been "the ultimates," where the writers are going back and redoing all the superhero history. Iron Man is a billionaire sexist playboy. captain america is a facist. the Wasp is kind of a slut, and bruce banner transforms into the hulk when his girlfriend cheats on him. i think i like it because it's scary and dark, taking all the people you respected and showing you the other half of them, and trying to make you keep liking them.

and with all this sniper shit, i kind of feel like everything's getting darker. the night before they caught him, a friend and i were just sitting around in the dark talking and we said one word wrong in the conversation and all of a sudden, apocalypse really didn't seem very far away at all. just a few wrong steps and everyone is gonna be blowing each other off the road.

we spent the rest of the night outside, on my porch, with hot chocolate and music we liked. we might not be here for a while. i'm glad i'm gonna see as much of the world as i can while it's still here.

liz, are you reading this? write me. i'm dreaming about you too much and i need to know you're ok.